Alexyss K. Tylor informs us at the top of the show that “Dick will make you slap somebody,” and she’s right, folks. Paris is going to jail! Whoah! Lisa and Wayne reminisce over last week’s “Hotel Stoli” event, where they got to stargaze. Wayne reports that his stalking victim, Kimberly Locke, performed at “Popstarz” and was looking good, y’all. Alec Baldwin is staying put on “30 Rock.” Whew. Things aren’t looking great for David Hasselhoff, as he is drunk on the floor eating and mumbling. Lisa needs to stop stalking Amy Winehouse, except that she can’t. Plus, there are social spas to talk about. Less